Tuesday August 31st ~

 A positive attitude will lead to positive outcomes...

The day is looking to be very sunny and very warm.

  Yes, another very beautiful day here in Puerto Rico. 

 I woke up, am having my coffee and watching Sniff 

sleep.  Yeah, many things to be grateful for 😍. 

I have not been out walking in the afternoons for over a week.

  Not that I haven't done my share during the day, but I was

 so down that even when Arvid asked I would say no.  

Little by little I will start to refocus and accept that there 

are certain things that you can't really mess with nor change.

Pretty soon I have to find a laboratory here in Fajardo.  Time

 for more blood work and endocrinologist.  Life goes on, and 

we have to take care of business.  Today I will definitely go

 walking with Arvid.  It's one of our favorite times of the day.

Good morning everyone.  May this day bring us all happy times.

Our attitude towards life determines life's attitude towards us...

~Nadiya~

Monday August 30th ~

 Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you.

Be strong and choose to be positive.  Always...

The new week begins. Just hoping it's a little better

 than the last few weeks.  August has not been a good month

 for me.  A lot is my own fault, but still changes nothing.

 It has left me mentally and emotionally drained.  

 I am always positive that better things are coming.  

They say that sometimes when one door closes  

another  opens.  Hoping very much for that.

Wishing everyone a good week and good days.

 Much better than what I have been having lately.

Rise and shine for a new week to be amazing 

is here. The sun is shining and the skies are blue.  

That is a good start of better things to come🙏

Train your mind to see the 

good in every new situation...

~Nadiya~

Sunday August 29th ~

 Sometimes you can't know until you know...

Sometimes things definitely do not go the way you think

 they will.  Life happens and we must face the consequences.

  It's not always easy, but then life sure ain't easy.

Today may not be a good day, but there is always tomorrow

 to look forward to.  In life as long as you give it your best,

 then you can at least have the satisfaction of knowing you did

 every thing possible.  It still does not always make it easier.

Sniff is always there to make me feel better.  I love him.

Silence is sometimes the best answer...

~Nadiya~

Saturday August 28th ~

 When the whole world is running towards

 the cliff, he who is running in the opposite 

direction appears to have lost his mind...

The above describes the way I feel right now. 

 I take things way too much at heart and just 

about every time it ends up hurting me.

  I have told myself to step back.  These are

 wild cats after all, and maybe in the long run instead 

of doing them good all I have done is harm.  Arvid keeps 

telling me that quite often.  Maybe he's right.

I won't lie. I am deflated and mentally tired.

 I have Sniff who needs me and who is always 

waiting to cheer me up. I really look forward now 

to the day we go back home to Florida.  Then I can't 

mess with nature anymore as everyone says I do.

It's always important to reflect on all of the blessings you have.

When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of 

disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in...

~Nadiya~

Black Thursday In My Heart ~ August 26th

 Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath...

It's  not a good day for me.  Not today not yesterday, 

but I have had difficult times before, and I know better than 

many that time has a way of taking away the brunt of 

the grief.  But right now my heart is grieving.

Tomorrow is another day.  At least today no other kitty

 was found dead.  Yesterday I found baby chewed up

 by dogs, but when I went walking this morning to feed the

 remaining ones, Baby was there she came to me and for 

the first time ever I was able to pet her for a while.

When I saw Baby I knew right away that "my"

 Poo Poo was the one attacked by the dogs.  Yesterday I was 

grieving baby.  Now I grieve for Poo.  He was a big boy,

 but so gentle.  he was dad to Taino, Rocco, WhitePaws, 

Spotify and Rascal.  Just like all  the kitties, I loved Poo

I am completely crushed and fed up with living in

 Fajardo, Puerto Rico.   My heart can't take any more of it.

No one can truly understand the bond we form with our

 cats we love until they experience the loss of one...

~Nadiya~

Black Monday / Week Begins August 23rd

 I'm unsure which pain is worse the shock 

of what happened or the ache for what never will...

As the new week begins, I am filled with despair,

 anger, frustration and a lot of why? why? why?

I was told that starting this week "my" kitties,

 the strays I feed will be trapped, sent to a shelter

 where they will definitely be euthanized.

Puerto Rico is not where I want to be anymore.

I want to go back home to Florida, because I cannot bear 

the thought of going for my morning walks anymore 

knowing my kitties will no longer be there.  

Their days are numbered, and hopefully so are ours

 in Fajardo, the dumping spot for your pets 😢💔

A thousand moments I had taken for granted,
mostly because I assumed there would be more...

~Nadiya~

Friday ~ Still Angry

 Knowing your own darkness is the best method 
for dealing with the darknesses of other people....

I really don't feel OK.  I am so very angry.

  Angry because no one really cares.  I have tried so

 many venues to make my voice heard, but at the

 end of the day it is the same. Nothing happens.

 No one gives a damm if anything happens to any 

of these kitties.  Not only here within our complex, 

but in the entire island.  Their lives mean nothing. 

 I have even called the cops to report that someone is

 poisoning "my" kitties.  He came.  He was polite, very

 nice, but can't do anything unless I saw who did it. 

In the mean time, I wake up every morning with

 the fear that I may see another of "my" kitties dead

 from poisoning.  I will keep trying to see if anyone

 listens.  Not going to give up on this, on them.

In the meantime, we are having hot beautiful days.

  We continue to do our walks.  I have not met 2 other

 kitties I feed.  I call on Blackie, she's black of course, 

and the white one is called Chiquita.  Now they know  me 

and I have given them a bowl for food and one for water.

  Which I refill every time we pass by their spot.

Sniff is calming and relaxing.  Brushing him takes

 away some of my stress, and makes me happy.

The weekend begins on a somber note for me.  I'm 

still affected by the deaths of Spotify and Taino.  I know 

life goes on, but it does not make it any less painful.

The depth of darkness to which you can descend 

and still live is an exact measure of the height 

to which you can aspire to reach...

~Nadiya~

Wednesday August 18th ~

 I found my happy place the minute I found you...

We all need a happy place where we can

 "escape" to every once in a while.  Mine is 

Sniff.  I look at him, and I see love 💜.

Today I am really needing my happy place.  My 

thoughts are taking me places I do not want to go.

I don't think they realize how sleepless nights 

can affect you, or how overthinking can slowly kill you.  

I don't think they know how it can turn your mind

 into thoughts you wish weren't yours...

~Nadiya~

Tuesday August 17th ~

 Sometimes I'm not angry, I'm 
hurt and there's a big difference...

Yesterday.  What a day.  I trapped Milo and Mama,

 so that was an accomplishment I have been looking

 forward to for quite some time. Milo was not easy, 

but I got him and with these two trapped I have now

 caught all kitties that I see everyday on my walks.

To catch Milo I had to use three different traps. 

 Finally the 3rd one actually did it.  Yes!

Mama was not that difficult to trap.  She walked right

 into it, walked out, but then went right back in.  Neither she

 nor Milo fought much in the trap.  This is good because they 

did not hurt themselves.  The one who was hurt most when

 trapped was Spotify 😢 she fought like a wild cat.

That was the good part of my morning. 

 On a very different note, two of "my" kitties 

died yesterday.  Spotify and Taino 💔. 

I am heartbroken and I just want to know why???  

Spotify was always in the same spot. Either behind

 the leaves or hiding behind the fence.  She and Rascal

her brother, were always together waiting for me.  

Today Rascal was sad, and didn't eat much.  He just walked around 

looking for his sister Spotify.  I am so angry at this.  So angry.

Living in the wild like these fur babies do will always

 end badly. No matter what I do I will not be able to prevent

 what life has in store for them, and that is a crushing blow.

The rest of the gang was fine.  Everyone showed up.

Spitfire, Poo and Rocco make up a family, minus

 Taino, but they still have each other.

Rascal is alone.  His brother Whitepaws "disappeared"

 over a month ago.  The payed so well together.  Then he and

 Spotify became buddies.  Now she's dead.  His mom, Mama 

does not bond with him.  So Rascal is suddenly all alone.

Yes, I am grateful for so many things, but today 

it's clouded with anger.  Just anger.  Lots of ANGER!!!

Being angry is like holding a burning piece of coal in

 your hand and hoping the other person feels your pain

~Nadiya~

Monday Vibes~ August 16th

 Small positive changes to your morning 

routine can transform your entire day...

August is halfway done already 😱 the days are

 going by very fast.  Too fast.  That mean also that our 

time in Puerto Rico is getting shorter and shorter.  

When I think of this I am very sad because I 

picture fourteen cats 🐈 waiting for me. Waiting 

patiently for food and treats, and it hurts. 

 I keep telling myself that they survived before me and

 will survive after me.  I have given them all an extra 

advantage so I’m sure that will be beneficial also.

Meanwhile here at home the “storm” is brewing.  

The winds, the rain and the gloomy skies don't see

 them as yet.  At least not the rain. Sniff gets a little

 scared runs off, but is back before you know it.

I miss my family.  I miss my mom and dad. 

 Back in Florida it was just a drive, but now it’s a 

LONG plane ride, and with all this new COVID 

crap, I won’t be doing any traveling for now.

.

I was going to a wedding in Fort Lauderdale in 

October but, not sure I will anymore.  Would have 

been nice to see everyone, but safety first.

mn
I was also going to California at the end of

 August, but that has also been rescheduled.  Now I’m

 not sure about that either  sure was looking forward

 to seeing Rima and family 🤭. he last time we 

were in California was 2019😢  Too long

J is still in Colombia working remotely.  Kimsy 

is in Washington, D.C.  Gabsy is currently visiting

 my parents in North Carolina.  A very happy time for

 all of them.  Gabsy is the hippie of our family💙.

Wishing everyone a great start of the new week.

  In the island it's time to track the storms.  Just as 

we did in Florida.  In Florida we had the option

 of taking off to a hotel somewhere else, here

  this option does not look so good for us.

Seize the day, then let it go...

~Nadiya~

Sunday August 15th ~

 Small steps in the right direction can turn 

out to be the biggest step of your life...

As usual Sundays call for more relaxing times for

 all three of us.  Arvid has his games.  I have my book

 and Sniff has more nap times.  Happy everyone.

Wishing everyone a happy day.  Once again we

 have another Tropical Storm to keep an eye on.  This

 one is called Grace.  Always hoping for the best.

Island time.  Not bad at all.  Another day to enjoy

 the ocean breeze from our balcony, and check out

 the storm that's brewing.  So far no rain as yet.

Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine...

~Nadiya~

Saturday August 14th ~

 Time has a wonderful way of showing us what matters...

The old fashion way still has its charm.  
Looking to become a tradition 💚

It started a few months ago when my friend Jennifer 
sent me the first letter.  Almost 10 pages long.  She reminded 

me of when she and I corresponded years ago.  Jennifer was

 my partner when I worked with New York City EMS.

I feel good.  "My" kitties are doing well and soon I

 hope to have all 14 spayed/neutered.  I know more 

will show up, and at that time I will catch them.

Taino's first morning back homme, and he was there with

 the gang.  Hungry and waiting to be fed.  I try not to think

 of the day I we leave PR.  It's breaks my heart, but for now

 they are healthy, well fed, and have had their surgeries.

Soccer started with a bang.  As Arvid says, 

"my days will be very busy now."  Hmm..

What started off as a not so good week suddenly has turned around.  

Everything is working out fine and the week has been saved.

The happiness of your life depends 

on the quality of your thoughts...

~Nadiya~

Because There Is Always Something Good ~ Friday August 13th ~

 Whenever you find yourself on the side of
 the majority, it is time to pause and reflect...

Relaxation times at home in Puerto Rico.  Sometimes 

I ask myself, why do we need anything else?  We have 

everything we need right here at home in Puerto Rico.

Just the simple things in life can bring so much

 pleasure.   The other day this rainbow captivated both 

Arvid and I for quite some time.  It was beautiful.

Everyday there is something wonderful 

waiting to happen.  You just have to look for it.

Today I bring Taino home.  Happy Happy.

The true secret of happiness lies in taking

 a genuine interest in all the details of daily life...

~Nadiya~