Forgetting is difficult. Remembering is worse...
Eight years ago today Arvid and I made the decision to have
Brutus' left leg amputated. Eight years ago today was the last time I
help our Brutus at home. We took him to the vet on November 5th.
I was scared to leave him, after all he was my baby.
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As we were leaving I was asked to sign a waiver stating I will
not hold anyone responsible should something happen during or after
surgery. I looked at the technician and I said to he, "he's not going
to die is he?" Eight years ago she looked me back in the eye and
said, "of course not. It's just routine." Eight years ago our Brutus
never made it back home and my heart has never healed completely.
Eight years ago my heart shattered, and parts of it still is.
I don't live in the past, but sometimes my hear wanders
there and there is nothing I can do. Life doesn't allow us
to go back and fix what we have done wrong in the past,
but it does allow us to live each day better than our last
Arvid and I shared a home with Brutus in Eleuthera, Bahamas
for a few years. It was also a beautiful time in our lives,
and Brutus being there made it even more special.
We had a little house on the beach. It was and still is
called The Lil' Red House. So many memories
and in them all Brutus was there with us.
You can close your eyes to the things
you don't want to see, but you can't close your
heart to the things you don't want to feel...
~Nadiya~