No matter how long it's been, there are times
when it suddenly becomes harder to breathe...
I'm physically exhausted. I'm right now emotionally drained and in a
downright pissy mood. Why? Maybe because I have been thinking a lot
about Brutus lately. Friday it will be one and a half years since our Brutus
died and right now I just want to cry. Who knows, maybe on Friday
it won't hit me as hard as it does right now. I miss him and that's that.
Today my heart is breaking and there is nothing I can do.
Today I just wanted to stay in bed. Hide under the covers and cry.
If I were home in Florida, I would take a long walk on be beach and let my
thoughts wander to what could have been, and just enjoy the sound of the waves
and the feel of the sand between my toes. Today I want to be home. Home
where Brutus lived and where Shadow had a few good months.
Today I want to go home. Back to what is familiar.
Then I see Sniff. Wanting love and giving love. I know that it will
be OK. It's just that some days are a little rough. Today my cousins kitty died in
Canada. Her name was Beauty, and yes she was a beauty. I met Beauty and
though I did not know her much, I know how much she was loved and how
much she will be missed. Another heart is broken. Actually quite a few
hearts are broken. Maybe Beauty will find Brutus and Shadow.
Today my heart is breaking, and there is nothing can do about it.
Loss and heartache do not define you.
They are part of your story...
~Nadiya~
