I try to tell my heart not to want things it can't have...
The day was going pretty well. Had many things to do so far, but then it was time to make
lunch. As I opened the fridge and was looking for something, I came across a tiny
little bottle with medicine. It was Shadows. He had an allergy to something,
and I gave him medicine for it. The rash as I had mentioned had disappeared.
That bottle set me back. Now I am a wreck and totally devastated all over again. The
horror of it all is once again be relived in my mind. I can't stop it. I can't slow it. I
just can't stop seeing Shadow. Shadow!!! Shadow!!! I could not save you!!!!!
I am even at the point of having doubts as to what happened and how it happened.
Yes, I will calm down. I always do. What else can one do, but calm down?
Right now my day is ruined. I am back to square one, but will be working to get back to
that state of being OK. Everyone expects you to be OK. Then I will be OK.
May your day be much better than what I am experiencing.
I simply cannot find the word to describe what I feel right now...
~Nadiya~
